Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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