You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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