why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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