Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
