my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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