two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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She tied me up with her honor cords...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
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And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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