do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
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i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
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my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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