honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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