everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
