I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
