Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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