Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
