I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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