What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
