i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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