Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
