I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think your dad took our porno
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
