it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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