They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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