Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
