Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
