Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
