1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think I sprained my soul last night
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
