he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
