Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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