Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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