I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
