There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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