Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
