Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
