I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
