Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
