My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You may now shotgun with the bride
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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