Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
