Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
