Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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