Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Let's get the cat blown out
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
