apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I want a musical about memes.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
