Me too!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
