giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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