I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
