your thong is hanging out like whoa
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
