Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
