Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
