I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
