I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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