are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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