He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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