so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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