Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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