That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
