Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
