Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
