nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
