how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We need to rekindle our bromance
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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