Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
