Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
