We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
