he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
