chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
