Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
