Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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